Divorce and Remarriage

Divorce is one of the hardest things a family can go through. Nobody will ever realize and know what someone is going through because we wont know and we never will because we were not in their situation. Some struggle more than others but we have to realize that it happened for a reason even if it is the most pointless reason and we can not understand. I actually had a sister go through divorce and it was one of the hardest things I have ever seen her go through. She is only 23 years old and he asked for a divorce because he wasn't happy. With the statistic that says over 70% of the people who get a divorce wish they didn't do it within two years of the divorce I very strongly believe. It splits up families and confuses the crap out of people. It can make them depressed but it can also make them very happy. You can always make something work but there are circumstances where you just cant and you need to get out of there. Either way you are going to do whats best for you in the end. When a parent gets remarried its of course going to be really hard on the kids but with time they will have to come too accept it. It will be hard for awhile but with time it always becomes easier.

Parenting

I just want to share the article that we read for class and my thoughts on that.

http://ldsmag.com/article/1/11837

This article was actually so amazing and completely reassuring to what I have been feeling. I had a few relatives pass away not too long ago and I feel as if they have been next to me helping me through the struggling times in my life. Reading this article really made me think and realize that I am never alone.  I will always have someone looking out for the better part of me and who I am. I am so blessed to know what I know and how much I have left to know. This article was very powerful to me. The story shared was really comforting as well to know that God is always looking out for us. Our Heavenly FATHER is always there for us and is always looking out for our best interest. I love the part where it says, “No matter their choices and situations, God loves them and is constantly working to save and redeem them. And so are their family and friends that have gone before. We are never alone on the work of redemption.” This was very comforting to me because of some stuff I have had going on in my life. Realizing that even the worse people in life or the people that we think are the worse, God loves and is trying to save.

Fathers and Finances

Fatherhood is one of the most important things to have in a child's life. Of course the mom is important but a child already has unspoken bond between the child and the mother. The father has to grow a bond and reach that point. It can be hard for fathers because they are usually the main source of income so they are gone most of the day and then come home and the kids are starting to settle down. But even some time out of the day that the father sits down and talks with his kids they will cherish that time forever and will grow up to be great kids. I know that with my own father when it came time to go to bed my sisters and I would climb into one bed as my dad read us a story and then we would hug are dad he would kiss us on the cheek tell us he loved us and we would go to bed. Fathers play a huge role in a kids life not only are they the main support and income but they are a love that nobody else would understand.

Communication

This is the week that I was really looking forward too. You always hear everyone say that communication is key to a good relationship. Is that really true? What kind of communication? Did you know that we communicate without saying anything at all? Our body language our touch our eye role can say a million words. One word text we instantly think something is wrong when really we are just reading into what the other person said. Communication is really key in a relationship or at least that's what I thought from this week, but you need to know what kind of communication you have with your significant other or even a friend. I think I personally need to work on this. I need to realize that just because we aren't talking as much doesn't mean that something is wrong but rather he might be busy or be doing something to keep himself busy. Communication is an amazing thing. In the book Marriage and Family it says, "Good listening has been found to be important in all kinds of relationships" So its not just the talking part that is communication its actually listening to what the other person is saying and giving feedback that means something. I think that you should talk to your spouse about everything. I think that they are there to listen and not judge you but to help you through whatever you are going through. This whole chapter in the book and the classes I found very interesting. This was one of my favorite things to learn about.

Family Crisis

The one thing that I really liked was the different stressor events. Internal, External, Normative, Nonnormative, Ambiguous, Nonabiguous, Volitional, Nonvolitional, Chronic, Acute, Cumulative, and Isolated. These came from the book that we read in class. The one that I really want to focus on is Nonvolitional. This is one that I believe every family and relationship goes through. I death in the family is something that is really hard to handle and really hard to go through. Some people might need there space other people might need someone to always comfort them and know that there is always someone to talk to. Each person in the family is different. In my family we all came together. I just had two grandmothers pass away back to back a month before I had to come to school. This became really hard for me but I knew that I could always rely on my family and that they were always there for me no matter what. Sometimes its hard to notice that we have others around us to help us through are crisis. But we all deal with it in our own way and we need to take that in account.

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

This was a really interesting topic for me to learn about. I knew some but not all. The big thing that I really liked was the three different things that happen in the brain (Sex Organ). The first one was serotonin which produces happiness and gives a chilling feeling, the second is dopamine which is the exciter and gives the stimulating feeling, then third was Oxycontin which gives off the bonding hormone.(Please excuse me if I spelled any of those wrong) These I knew about but didn't know what they were called or what feeling they gave off. Another big thing that I liked is that trust is needed to be intimate with one another. That was really big thing for me. I have trust issues and knowing that made me know that if I trust someone it will be easier and just feel more right. The family is a huge thing because that is what comes from sex is you gain a family. The one thing that I liked was that in order for your kids to know that is okay you need to show some affection with your husband or wife in front of your kids. I am not saying go crazy and start making out with them but hold hands and show affection. Another thing I liked is when teaching your kids body part names make sure you teach them the right name for the right part. It may cause an issue if you dont. With physical intimacy you need to know that it is not a race and it is something that you need to be careful with and take it slow. There should be no rush with the one whom you are in love with. Slow careful and thoughtful is the one who wins the race. 

Trasnsitions into Marriage

The transition into marriage can be hard on some or easy on some. There are compromises that are going to be made and things that you will have to work on with your spouse. Not everything is going to be easy. You have to get used to each other figure out both of you and how you work together. Bringing your stuff together and your two different backgrounds together may be hard but if you work together and figure out things together then you will be okay. Just need to remember that not everything is easy and fun and games. Marriage is work.

Preparing for Marriage

Preparing for marriage there is a lot of things you need to figure out going into it. You need to realize that isn't always going to be fun and games there are compromises that are going to be need to made. There are things you need to learn about before you start a marriage like where you are going to live and how things are going to be paid. I think the big thing is space and communication with each other. With out that you aren't really going to work well with each other. You both need you own lives as well as the lives you have built together.

Gender and Family Life

This week we have learned about Gender and Family life. It is crazy to think how both sides of the family can play such a huge roll. I have always considered myself as a “daddy’s girl” and been told that I am supposed to be a boy. I am interested in cars and interested in toys. That’s considered not that big of an issue. But then when you relate that to a boy liking more feminine things like crafts or being interested in what he looks like he is considered gay. But with girls it isn’t that big of a deal. We have a society have twisted so many things around and so many are not how they are supposed to be anymore. When we read about people being born gay I honestly do not believe that is possible. There is a reason why they think so but there is no way. When you are born onto this earth you are perfect. When you start to grow up you start liking different things then other people and start growing in different ways. If you think you are attracted to a boy and you are a boy think of the reasons why? Why do you think you have this attraction? What happened in your life to attract you to the same sex? Life is a crazy thing. Society has changed are point of view on things day in and day out. Things are constantly changing and we just listen. We never really think for ourselves any more.

Gender in the family plays a huge roll. If you are a girl growing up in a home without your father you are more likely to seek attention from a different man that you think loves you and will treat you right. That’s not always the case. Your father is a big part of your life and you need him there in order to feel a different type of love. I have grown up with both my parents and three sisters. When I step back and look at my family and my life from a different view I notice patterns. For example my youngest and oldest sister are more attached to my mom, than my sister and I are more attached to our dad. The two that are attached to my mom have more friends that are girls and get along with them easier. My sister and I have more guy friends and get along with them a whole lot easier. But then when you come in contact from the opposite sex you treat them with the same respect you treat your other friends. For example I have this one girl friend and I treat her like I treat my guy friends. In order to be more versatile in life we need to pay attention to all things and realize all the different types of relationships we can have in our lives.

Valid and Valuable

I believe that all cultures are valuable in their own way. Not everything they say and do can be completely correct or valid but I’m sure in every culture there is something that we can learn from. I don’t believe that it is all completely valid but I do think it is something that we can learn from and be a part of. We don’t need to turn our backs and think that we are always right and that we do everything correct because sometimes that is not the case. We always have things to learn from and things we can build on.

Understanding Family Dynamics and Theories

This week I learned a lot about my own family and how we all play a role in the family as a whole. When doing a project and setting my family up I realized that nobody in the family is perfect nobody is better than the other but we all work as a whole. When we did a project about this I set my own family up as a waterfall. There is the big rock which is my parents they hold us up but they aren't the whole thing. We have to make mistakes and run down that waterfall hitting every bump in the road to learn from it. I know that my family is not perfect but when we work together we can be the best that we can be.

Societal Trends and the Family

We were ask a question and to post what we think and I think that is what I am going to talk about. We were asked, "Does it really matter how many children I have? Why, and who is affected by my decisions?"
I believe that it does matter how many children I have. Whatever God has planned for me is what
would happen. I know that sometimes when you are not ready for children God with inform you in
 many different ways. My sister for example had to go through invetro and she went through a very
 long process with a lot of pain. She then got pregnant but on her 7th week her baby had stopped
 forming. A few weeks later there had been a lot of issue and she went through some stuff that none
of would have ever thought would happen. She now would be a single mother with no job trying to
 raise her child. I think God has a plan for us whether we like it or not. There is many people affected
 by the decision of how many children I am going to have. My husband, other children, family members,
 Heavenly Father, all other human race, and myself. I think it matters how many children because if we
don’t consult with our Heavenly Father something will go wrong or just not how we thought they were
going too.
Society has totally changed views on these things the past view years and it just amazes me. 

Excited

I am really excited to start this new blog about marriage and family. It might take me awhile to get used to how things work with a blog so have some patience with me.. I hope you enjoy it.