Divorce and Remarriage

Divorce is one of the hardest things a family can go through. Nobody will ever realize and know what someone is going through because we wont know and we never will because we were not in their situation. Some struggle more than others but we have to realize that it happened for a reason even if it is the most pointless reason and we can not understand. I actually had a sister go through divorce and it was one of the hardest things I have ever seen her go through. She is only 23 years old and he asked for a divorce because he wasn't happy. With the statistic that says over 70% of the people who get a divorce wish they didn't do it within two years of the divorce I very strongly believe. It splits up families and confuses the crap out of people. It can make them depressed but it can also make them very happy. You can always make something work but there are circumstances where you just cant and you need to get out of there. Either way you are going to do whats best for you in the end. When a parent gets remarried its of course going to be really hard on the kids but with time they will have to come too accept it. It will be hard for awhile but with time it always becomes easier.

Parenting

I just want to share the article that we read for class and my thoughts on that.

http://ldsmag.com/article/1/11837

This article was actually so amazing and completely reassuring to what I have been feeling. I had a few relatives pass away not too long ago and I feel as if they have been next to me helping me through the struggling times in my life. Reading this article really made me think and realize that I am never alone.  I will always have someone looking out for the better part of me and who I am. I am so blessed to know what I know and how much I have left to know. This article was very powerful to me. The story shared was really comforting as well to know that God is always looking out for us. Our Heavenly FATHER is always there for us and is always looking out for our best interest. I love the part where it says, “No matter their choices and situations, God loves them and is constantly working to save and redeem them. And so are their family and friends that have gone before. We are never alone on the work of redemption.” This was very comforting to me because of some stuff I have had going on in my life. Realizing that even the worse people in life or the people that we think are the worse, God loves and is trying to save.

Fathers and Finances

Fatherhood is one of the most important things to have in a child's life. Of course the mom is important but a child already has unspoken bond between the child and the mother. The father has to grow a bond and reach that point. It can be hard for fathers because they are usually the main source of income so they are gone most of the day and then come home and the kids are starting to settle down. But even some time out of the day that the father sits down and talks with his kids they will cherish that time forever and will grow up to be great kids. I know that with my own father when it came time to go to bed my sisters and I would climb into one bed as my dad read us a story and then we would hug are dad he would kiss us on the cheek tell us he loved us and we would go to bed. Fathers play a huge role in a kids life not only are they the main support and income but they are a love that nobody else would understand.

Communication

This is the week that I was really looking forward too. You always hear everyone say that communication is key to a good relationship. Is that really true? What kind of communication? Did you know that we communicate without saying anything at all? Our body language our touch our eye role can say a million words. One word text we instantly think something is wrong when really we are just reading into what the other person said. Communication is really key in a relationship or at least that's what I thought from this week, but you need to know what kind of communication you have with your significant other or even a friend. I think I personally need to work on this. I need to realize that just because we aren't talking as much doesn't mean that something is wrong but rather he might be busy or be doing something to keep himself busy. Communication is an amazing thing. In the book Marriage and Family it says, "Good listening has been found to be important in all kinds of relationships" So its not just the talking part that is communication its actually listening to what the other person is saying and giving feedback that means something. I think that you should talk to your spouse about everything. I think that they are there to listen and not judge you but to help you through whatever you are going through. This whole chapter in the book and the classes I found very interesting. This was one of my favorite things to learn about.

Family Crisis

The one thing that I really liked was the different stressor events. Internal, External, Normative, Nonnormative, Ambiguous, Nonabiguous, Volitional, Nonvolitional, Chronic, Acute, Cumulative, and Isolated. These came from the book that we read in class. The one that I really want to focus on is Nonvolitional. This is one that I believe every family and relationship goes through. I death in the family is something that is really hard to handle and really hard to go through. Some people might need there space other people might need someone to always comfort them and know that there is always someone to talk to. Each person in the family is different. In my family we all came together. I just had two grandmothers pass away back to back a month before I had to come to school. This became really hard for me but I knew that I could always rely on my family and that they were always there for me no matter what. Sometimes its hard to notice that we have others around us to help us through are crisis. But we all deal with it in our own way and we need to take that in account.

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

This was a really interesting topic for me to learn about. I knew some but not all. The big thing that I really liked was the three different things that happen in the brain (Sex Organ). The first one was serotonin which produces happiness and gives a chilling feeling, the second is dopamine which is the exciter and gives the stimulating feeling, then third was Oxycontin which gives off the bonding hormone.(Please excuse me if I spelled any of those wrong) These I knew about but didn't know what they were called or what feeling they gave off. Another big thing that I liked is that trust is needed to be intimate with one another. That was really big thing for me. I have trust issues and knowing that made me know that if I trust someone it will be easier and just feel more right. The family is a huge thing because that is what comes from sex is you gain a family. The one thing that I liked was that in order for your kids to know that is okay you need to show some affection with your husband or wife in front of your kids. I am not saying go crazy and start making out with them but hold hands and show affection. Another thing I liked is when teaching your kids body part names make sure you teach them the right name for the right part. It may cause an issue if you dont. With physical intimacy you need to know that it is not a race and it is something that you need to be careful with and take it slow. There should be no rush with the one whom you are in love with. Slow careful and thoughtful is the one who wins the race. 

Trasnsitions into Marriage

The transition into marriage can be hard on some or easy on some. There are compromises that are going to be made and things that you will have to work on with your spouse. Not everything is going to be easy. You have to get used to each other figure out both of you and how you work together. Bringing your stuff together and your two different backgrounds together may be hard but if you work together and figure out things together then you will be okay. Just need to remember that not everything is easy and fun and games. Marriage is work.